The Power of a Name: How I Learned to Set Boundaries with Grace
I used to think correcting someone about my name was too small to matter.
Then it kept happening.
Even when my email signature clearly said FirstName LastName, people would respond to me using only my last name. At first, I brushed it off. But each time it happened, a quiet tension settled in—like part of me had gone unseen.
Growing up, I noticed something: people didn’t always use others’ real names, especially in my community. Sometimes it seemed harmless, but often it felt like a way to shrink someone—like their identity wasn’t worth the effort. I decided early on that I wanted my name to be respected. I never had a nickname, not because I didn’t like them, but because I wanted to be fully seen.
I realized what bothered me wasn’t just the word—it was the message underneath it: you’re not paying attention to who I am.
Coming from Brooklyn, I’ve always been comfortable being direct. It’s in my DNA to be clear and straightforward. But that clarity—especially as a woman—has sometimes been labeled as “harsh.” So when I decided to speak up, I found myself caught between two fears: sounding too sharp… or staying silent and feeling invisible.
That moment became a turning point.
Why Names Matter More Than We Think
Our names are more than labels—they’re living pieces of our identity. When someone uses them correctly, it says I see you. I respect you. I care enough to get it right.
When they don’t, especially after being corrected, it chips away at belonging. It can make even the most confident among us feel small, like we have to shrink to be received.
And that’s when I knew: correcting someone about my name wasn’t nitpicking. It was protecting something sacred.
From Friction to Empowerment
I created what I now call the Name-Correction Empowerment Toolkit—a resource to help me (and now others) set boundaries around our names with both clarity and grace.
It includes:
✍🏽 Polished response templates for professional settings
💬 Warm one-liners for quick chats and emails
🚨 Escalation scripts for repeated issues
🌿 Internal grounding phrases, affirmations, and reflection prompts
Because here’s what I learned: clarity isn’t conflict—it’s care.
Correcting someone about your name doesn’t mean you’re being harsh. It means you respect yourself enough to ask others to do the same.
What This Journey Taught Me
Creating this toolkit taught me something profound: every time I stand up for my name, I’m reminding myself that I deserve to be seen fully.
And every time someone adjusts and starts using it correctly? It feels like they’re saying, “I see you now.”
That small shift carries a quiet kind of power.
For You
If you’ve ever had to correct someone about your name—and felt nervous, guilty, or unsure—you’re not alone.
And if you’ve ever stayed silent and felt invisible, you’re not alone either.
You deserve to be addressed as you.
So here’s my reminder to you (and to myself):
Your name is part of your power. You have every right to protect it.
If you’d like to explore the Name-Correction Empowerment Toolkit I created, I’d be happy to share it with you. Let’s normalize respect, one name at a time.
A Final Thought
This experience reminded me that empowerment isn’t always about bold leaps—it’s often about the quiet, consistent ways we honor ourselves. Speaking up for my name was one of those ways. It taught me that clarity can be compassionate, boundaries can be graceful, and even small acts of self-respect can ripple outward to inspire others.
That’s the heart of my journey: creating space where people feel seen, valued, and encouraged to stand in their full power—starting with something as simple and as sacred as a name.
Author’s Note
Sheridan Gary is a writer, strategist, and advocate for authentic connection. She created the Name-Correction Empowerment Toolkit to help others set boundaries with clarity, compassion, and confidence.
Explore the toolkit [here]
