The Business of Love: Why My Marriage Works Like a Successful Startup

When people start out in business, they tend to think that everything needs to be perfect (just me? Ok, I can accept that). But it isn't. Starting a business from the ground up involves stumbling, learning, growing, facing fears that you didn't know existed and pushing through regardless. The fact is that you MUST push through.

I'm one of those people who associate this with that. I don't know why, I just do. It's how my brain is wired. I relate things to other things.

And here's what hit me like a ton of bricks one day—maybe in a dream, maybe during one of those 3 am moments where everything suddenly makes sense: If I think about personal or romantic relationships, I can see that the relationship that worked was the one that I pushed through in. Like my business, I keep going.

The Ones That Didn't Make It

I've had relationships that didn't work. I had a marriage that didn't work. And for a long time, I carried that weight. As a former teen parent, I felt like I had already failed somehow. That feeling sat with me, quiet but persistent, driving me to succeed at everything else. I didn't realize until much later that I was terrified of failing again.

But here's the thing about failure in business: it teaches you. Every stumble shows you what doesn't work, so you can figure out what does. And relationships? They're no different.

The Partnership That Works

My current marriage works because we treat it like what it actually is: a contract. Not sexy, I know, but stay with me. Marriage IS a contract between two people. It's a business we're both invested in.

My partner doesn't have the same skillset as I do. In a business, that would be an asset, not a problem. Why should marriage be any different? We see the big picture. We come together for meetings—yes, actual check-ins where we talk about what's working and what isn't. We've learned to communicate effectively, to work as a team.

I've learned about conflict resolution in ways that no business book ever taught me. I've learned about teamwork when one of us is struggling and the other needs to carry more weight. I've learned about promotion—celebrating my spouse's wins (no pizza party involved, but plenty of genuine recognition). These aren't just business concepts. They're relationship essentials.

The Fear I Didn't Know I Had

Starting a business forces you to face fears you didn't know existed. For me, it was the fear of failing again. Of not being enough. Of repeating old patterns.

But pushing through in business taught me something crucial: success isn't about being perfect. It's about showing up, doing the work, adjusting when things don't go according to plan, and refusing to quit when it gets hard.

That relationship that worked? It's the one where I applied the same principle. Where we both did.

Success Looks Different Now (But I Still Want It)

I wanted to succeed in everything. Business was something I associated success with. That hasn't changed—I still want to succeed. I still celebrate the minor and major wins.

But now I understand that success in a relationship looks like this: Two imperfect people with different strengths, coming together to build something bigger than themselves. It's meetings and check-ins and hard conversations. It's recognizing that some days you're the one holding it all together, and other days you're the one who needs holding. It's treating your partnership with the same seriousness, investment, and commitment you'd give to a business you truly believe in.

Because at the end of the day, isn't that what marriage is? A business you're building together. One where the ROI is measured in shared laughter, weathered storms, and a life built side by side.

The Push Through

Starting a business from the ground up involves stumbling, learning, growing, and pushing through regardless. So does a marriage that lasts. So does anything worth having.

I saw my relationships as business contracts. And the one that worked? It's because we both signed on the dotted line and committed to making it succeed.

Not perfect. Just pushed through.

And that makes all the difference.